An idea for a new drinking game

Here’s an idea for a new drinking game: Every time you read “Update” or “Updates” in this Microsoft blog post you take a drink.

With the release of Windows 10, we simplified the servicing process by moving to cumulative updates, where each update released contains all the new fixes for that month, as well as all the older fixes from previous months. Today, most organizations deploy these cumulative updates when they are released on the second Tuesday of every month, also called “Update Tuesday.” Because these updates contain new security fixes, they are considered “Security Updates” in Windows Server Update Services (WSUS) and System Center Configuration Manager.

Based on feedback from customers, we are making some adjustments to the updates that we are releasing for Windows 10, version 1703 (also known as the “Creators Update”). With these changes, we will routinely offer one (or sometimes more than one) additional update each month. These additional cumulative updates will contain only new non-security updates, so they will be considered “Updates” in WSUS and Configuration Manager.

Of course anyone participating will probably become living impaired afterwards. trollface

Alexa, does this make me look fat?

The new Amazon Echo is a selfie machine that gives fashion advice.

Amazon heard the selfie generation loud and clear (probably thanks to the microphones in everyone’s amazon products trollface ) you too can not only get instant selfies, you can get better fashion advice without ever talking to another human being OR posting embarrassing photos of yourself on facebook trying things on in a fitting room. morty With questions like “OMG what color should I get?” or “The medium or large panties?”

And before anyone asks… Yes, I’ve seen this fucking happen. There’s more but I’m trying to be pleasant about it (and failing). zorak

Android Necromancy

So far NieR Automata has been loads of fun. I’ve been going on quests and slashing the shit out of things. One of the features in this game allows you to recruit dead corpses left by other players if you’re connected to the network, or you can absorb their points and other things they left behind.

My co-worker (the one that looks like dude bayonetta) told me this game is really short, so far I keep finding things to do. I don’t think he factored in exploration, sidequests, alternate endings and how often I’d be getting my ass beat. trollface Might pick up on this more tomorrow, I’ve really been feeling quite at home in this game. Sadly there are no watermelons, but all games have their flaws. melon

OpenLara, an Open Source engine for the original Tomb Raider

You can even see for yourself without having to install it on your computer, though if you like it and want to run it locally you can find the files here. You will need files from the original game though, it just comes with the demo level to get you started. In the browser version I’ve noticed the wolves are kinda lazy, you can shoot them when they’re just waking up from their slumber… rick

Features include:

  • Higher Framerates (Not locked to 30)
  • First Person or Third Person
  • Multiplatform
  • Better Lighting
  • Pyramid titties perfectly preserved

A great way to breathe some new life into the original while still retaining the visuals. meeseeks I’ll have to download this and take it for a spin. The first one was always my favorite version.

NeiR and FAR

Since Platinum hasn’t touched NieR Automata’s bug issues I took it upon myself to install the FAR mod. The nice thing about FAR is that it has all of these nice built in features including borderless windowed mode, which works perfectly btw. There’s also graphical features and other options, like how you want achievements to appear. I did notice some graphical glitching as I played, but I wasn’t certain if it was the mod doing it or the game itself as I had gotten further in than my last attempt. I noticed weird textures when fighting sawblades and the giant machine. Unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures at the time, as I was trying my best to get to a point where I could save my progress and not fail at the prologue again. razz

This time around I got out the Steam Controller and tweaked it for proper gameplay, and honestly that didn’t take much. I basically activated gyro and made one of the bottom grip controls mimic the A button to jump, then I switched the game controls themselves around in the game itself. I will say that I did a much better job on a controller rather than keyboard and mouse, although I’m sure if I took the time to play with the keyboard layout I could make it comfortable like MGR. I was finally happy when I saw I could save my progress! And had a laugh when the game decided to troll me.

Fellow android 9S helped me calibrate my settings, as in literally going into my settings and making me adjust screen brightness and voice volume as if that’s part of my android body. Afterwards I uninstalled my OS chip and killed myself just to say that I did it. I can tell this game is going to try and fuck with me in any way possible. I have no problems with that at all. trollface

Happy Weekend/Earth Day/Birthday to me

Sorry for not posting yesterday. When I got home I was sore and tired, not even enough energy to make an open thread. Today went a little better, I awoke to find that I got everything for my birthday… literally. I haven’t played it yet, but it is installed and ready for when I decide to take control of the entire universe. I’m an overlord so this gift is quite fitting. Instead I wanted to play a game with pinatas in it, but the closest thing I could think of was Skyrim. Killing people and looting their corpses for swag isn’t that much different from a pinata, is it? zorak

How does a skeleton bleed?

I had a nice chocolate orange cheesecake to enjoy, due to scheduling conflicts we didn’t go out this evening… But we did order a nice Chinese buffet of sorts. There are still plans to go out on another day when the stars and planets align. I have the next couple of days off, which is nice after two weeks of split days off. Might come in handy, I’m thinking of having a couple drinks before bed. I want a long sleep.

I wonder what time of year it is…

Yesterday I received a package in the mail from Yutram, thanks to him I now have a new mug to drink my unholy elixirs in. zorak It has a really nice infuser and a lid to keep it warm (or use it as a coaster). It has a lovely pattern on it. I look forward to breaking it in soon. grin

And my brother drew this in my honor. Jeez I’m getting quite the reputation…

Thanks guys. melon